I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
