"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
