Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
