Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize