She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Please don't give away my fajitas
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
