I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
