you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
