I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
3pm strippers are depressing
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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