The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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