Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
