I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
