WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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