so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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