we're blogging at a bar
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
