the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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