Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
