Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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