its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
