I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
