Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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