Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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