Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize