I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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