The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
