They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
