Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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