I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
