I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
