I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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