Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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