She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
