im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
