How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
