mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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