This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
