Umm I'm too high to move.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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