so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
