i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
