the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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