DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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