so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
