I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
