Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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