got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
