she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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