just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
