is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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