i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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