how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I will be naked everywhere
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
