he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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