so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
