i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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