I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
