Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
