I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
