Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
