Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
