Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
