Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
