Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
