Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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