So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can vaginas get frostbite?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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